Great American Corporate Super Hero! Able to work in mindless tasks, with long hours for menial pay. Adept at avoiding critical decisions, shirking assigned duties and tasks, failed fiscal responsibility, and inability to work well with others in teams or projects. Having created nothing of merit, manufactured no product, nor talented in any arts or entertainment, I am the perfect business drone – ready for your pedantic routine and even occasional overtime. I am prepared to give your corporate motto vision statement, the full attention and effort to the perceived level of corporate culture lip service it is paid. Well Experienced in Human Resources/ Talent Acquisition with 20 different employers in as many years.

Specialties: Objective: You have a job listed, and in my amazing powers of observation and obvious reading talent, I have decided to apply to it; It beats watching reruns of Reality Tv, World of Warcraft, or laying on my couch in a post masturbatory haze.

EXPERIENCE:
Blogger, tocker, smoker, mignight joker - I make my money on hit and runs
Currently Unemployed

I would work if it did not get into the way of my busy social life, reality TV schedule, beer drinking, porn hub sexploits and bloqosphere updates.

Commission Wh0re Sales Oct 2000 - Feb 2010 9 years 5 months

Adept in fleecing customers money for the benefit of corporate bottom line in comparison to meager and diminishing pay, commissions and absent incentives. At occasional instances, experienced in well fleecing the same customer for repeat, continued, and referral business.

Cubical Ground hog
General Office Administration
Feb 1993 - Dec 2000 7 years 11 months

With sheer super natural powers able to move one pile of paper from the left side of my desk to the opposing side. Able to use the computer in efforts to do such. Capable of recognizing Political Correct office prattle, and participating during business hours when it suits my personal agenda. Multi Line phones – I can press * to get to English or voice mail with the best of them.

EDUCATION:
Whaz a matta U MBA General 2009 - 2011

Activities and Societies: It is in non engineering, non technical, non clinical, non environmental nor of any financial accounting value to your corporate mission statement.
It is apparently both over qualifying and limiting due to lack of experience depending on what job you put out on the virtual shingle. How invigorating. /s

University of Thinkology E Pluribis Unim Philioanthropicidiantrics
1987 - 1992

Activities and Societies: Five year mission to drink as much alcohol as my parents budget could support, retake as many classes as I could to prolong graduation, and squeak out of being expelled on multiple occasions. Graduate; because Daddy was alumni and current 'donor'
The same as the Masters, except in an 'international' direction; though conducted state side.